Shhh! Lis‘T’en to the Silent ‘T’…

Ok, now ‘hear’ properly what we are going to tell you!

No…No… ‘listen’ to what we are going to tell you!

Hmm… what is the difference? Aha! There is a BIG difference.

Hear & Listen– They don’t mean the same. Though in common parlance we use them interchangeably, but there lies a big difference between their true import. The fact is, most of the times we only hear. Rarely do we listen!

Let’s try to grasp the difference...

The 6 year old Jim comes running to his father with something very exciting to share. But, Mr. Fredrick, Jim’s father, is busy reading the newspaper.

“Dad, Dad... I saw a beautiful rabbit in our garden.” Jim bursts out jumping on the ground.

“Hmm,” Mr. Fredrick replies from behind the newspaper without even looking at his son.

Jim, without saying anything, goes to his mother who is watering the plants and repeats his words... “Mom, there is a little rabbit in our garden there.”

Mrs. Fredrick (putting the water-pipe aside, bends down to reach her son and looks into his little eyes that have grown big out of excitement): Really! Why don’t you go and play with it, my dear!

And, Jim happily runs back to play with its new, little companion...

Though a small incident but it reveals a big secret! Even a small child can sense the gravity with which you pay heed to his words... that whether you simply hear him like Mr. Fredrick or really listen to him like Mrs. Fredrick. Your simple choice may mean a world of difference to other. No doubt, we have two ears in order to hear better but God has also given us one heart so that we can listen well.

Hearing is a physical ability while listening is a skill. One uses his ears to hear but his brain & heart to listen! More lucidly, ‘Hearing’ means that your ears are simply absorbing sound waves. ‘Listening’, on the other hand, also involves interpreting, evaluating, understanding, responding, and remembering!

Let’s move a little deeper into the concept...

What does it really mean to listen?

Just ponder! Spelling of LISTEN is not LISEN. The ‘T’ is silent.

This silent T teaches us the hidden aspect of listening, which carries with it the formula for rightly understanding what the other person is saying. The three teachings of this silent ‘T’ are:

1. T is for TALKING: Put your TALKING on silent mode when the other person is talking. First hear him fully. This is the first lesson taught by the silent ‘T’ of the word ‘lisTen’.
Many people think that in order to communicate it is essential to say something. But, remember that listening is communication in itself. The contribution of speaking and listening while communicating can be depicted by the pie chart shown below:

When we listen to others we develop a silent bond with them and communicate to them that we care about what they are telling us. However, a study shows that about 85% of the time when someone tells something to somebody, it takes less than one minute on average before that somebody cuts in with something else. This inability or, rather say, impatience of not letting the other person speak is one of the main reasons for divorce of couples. We are ever excited to barge in and sing our own song without giving chance to other. This loophole is active in case of children and parents as well. For instance, at the dinner table your child may be talking about some incident at his school. However, instead of focusing on what he's saying, you may just be too preoccupied with announcing the set of instructions to him to eat his food properly. In marketing sector as well, it is detrimental. One cannot make a sale or provide top-quality customer service simply by singing praises of his product unless he pays heed to what the customer needs.

Just imagine! This is the situation when God has given us two ears to listen and ‘only’ one mouth to speak. Even then we are unable to listen and put a pause on our talking. In fact, of all the animal species (even dogs), we humans listen the least. However, it is good to be an active listener first. And, if you think that you can listen and talk at the same time, then it’s not truly possible. It is extremely difficult to receive information and simultaneously send it out from your mouth.

To grasp the full difference between Hearing & Listening, and, to understand the teaching of the silent ‘T’, refer to the January and February2010 issues of English Akhand Gyan.